LOSINGIT, you've got some good kids. I admire the determination your oldest is demonstrating to stick to what she was taught is right. Her integrity isn't a bad thing, it's just misdirected. Flipper offers good advice, as he usually does. I wonder if it might be possible for you to call Steven Hassan himself and get his suggestions on how to crack the nut of misdirected integrity.
You are correct, though, that FIRST you need to "save yourself" by overcoming the GUILT that bubbles up whenever you catch yourself THINKING. This will take time. NEVER indulge in negative self-talk. If you find yourself being critical of yourself, silently repeat the word "cancel" three times, then congratulate yourself for having the courage to challenge your former erroneous beliefs. Form a picture in your mind of yourself walking out af a dark woods into a beautiful mountain meadow filled with sunshine and flowers. Don't think this sounds silly: try it.